snow joke

[staggering]

This snow and ice thing is making me go absolutely bonkers !!! ever since the snow first fell my wife has not stopped looking through the window

- if it goes on much longer I'm gonna have to let her in !!

[mad cyclist]

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the RSPCA called round today to say my dog had been chasing a man on a bike and causing much distress to him...........rubbish..my dog can't ride a bike!

[Stagster]

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Christmas dinner is like any other to me.....

"....sat at the table, looking at a fat bird who doesn't gobble any more..!!":shock:

Jer:dude:

[Stag therapy]

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I recently went to my new doctor for a check up. After a severaltests he came to the conclusion that I was doing"OK" for my age.

Expecting a little more substance to my health status, I asked him: "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"

"No," I replied. "I was told they are bad for your lungs and liver"

"What about illegal drugs? He asked.

"No I have never taken them." I replied

Then he asked, "Do you eatsteak and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat was very unhealthy for my heart so I haven't eaten it for many years!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, such as playinggolf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said. " Iwas told a long time ago that being in the sun was not good for my skin."

He asked, "Do you gamble ordrive fast cars?"

"No" I said. "I livevery frugally."

"How about having a lot of sex" He asked.

"No." I replied. " I live alone and don't seem to be attractive to women."

He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you even care?"

Baz

[JesusofCool]

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I asked my doctor if I would live longer if I gave up alcohol, smoking, drugs, sex and red meat.

He said "No, but it will certainly feel like it"