Numpty of the month award

[Another Peter]

At the TR Register national weekend, I parked the Stag amongst some other visiting Stags and got chatting to the guy who was next to me.

He gave me some good advice and numerous tips about Stag ownership.

One tip was to pour Waxoyl down the holes at the top of the windscreen frame into which the hood locking handles engage. Apparantley it helps prevent rust at the base of the windscreen.

So tonight, having warmed up the Waxoyl up to make it nice and runny, I kept pouring and pouring the Waxoyl into the two holes. Stopped one side, then moved over to the other side. I was amazed that I could keep pouring and pouring the stuff in. I thought the windscreen frame has got to be full of the stuff, but no, it kept taking more and more in.

"Where was it all going?" I thought, but thinking that there is no such thing as too much rust prevention, I carried on pouring it in.

After a while, I looked down at the garage floor and was horrifed to notice a puddle about two foot wide of Waxoyl, getting wider and wider.

It had been running down through the inside of the windscreen frame, down the A post and out of a drainage hole near the front of the sill. On both sides of the car too!! As fast as I had kept pouring it in, the faster it came out the other end.

Have you ever tried mopping up runny Waxoyl? Not nice at all. Took me a good half an hour.

I haven't dared tell the wife as she already thinks that all men are genetically and intellectually inferior to women, and this would episode would just give her more confirmation that she is right.

So just between us, can I nominate myself for the Numpty Of The Year Award?

[nib]

Its 1979,just changed the gear return spring on my Kawasaki S1 250,had the clutch out,oil pump out,its all back together now,mates are waiting on their Yam RD250's and GT250's with engines running,all i've got to do on this Friday night is refill with gear oil and im away,tip it in,roll a fag whilst waiting to check level,look round and realise I hadn't put the gearbox drain plug back in,talk about having the urine took out of me even to this day.
Mark

[martin]

Numpty of the month ? nah ! Your Wife's right of course, but what's wrong with too much rustproofing ? Messy indeed, cat litter is the best option, and it's cheap, but numpty ? nah ! Martin.

[Guest]

My garage has a low ceiling, the stag bonnet when lifted is quite long/high. I was struggling to jack the front of the car up.................... you know where I'm going with this don't you?....Doh!

Jason

[martin]

My garage has a low ceiling, the stag bonnet when lifted is quite long/high. I was struggling to jack the front of the car up.................... you know where I'm going with this don't you?....Doh!

Jason

Yeah, that's pretty numpty
Decided years ago, that drilling holes in the wall was dangerous, might hit a live cable, so I turned the power off, then spent five minutes wondering why the bloody drill wouldn't work - that's numpty as well M.

[richardthestag]

Car related first , how about stripping just about every thread out of the alloy heads on my stag by using a horrendously badly calibrated torque wrench. and wondering why they kept stripping... I now use afore mentioned torque wrench to hammer nails into reinforced concrete. Thank God for helicoil

Non car related. Mrs thestag had been harranguing me to replace to faulty outside light. I switched it off and flipped the RCD on the fuse box to isolate the circuit. Removed the old light fitting and while wiring up the new one got a horrible buzzzzzzz off the live wire , WTF went for it again and just as bad !!! went back inside and RCD was back on, mrs thestag had very helpfully flicked it back on so she could see while doing the hoovering ever since I remove the RCD and put it in my pocket while doing such jobs. I reckon mrs was a numpty on that one

I have loads more car related ones, some are more painful than others

[alan_thomas]

or perhaps she is not a Numpty, perhaps she remembered the terms of your Life insurance policy?
- Alan

Car related first , how about stripping just about every thread out of the alloy heads on my stag by using a horrendously badly calibrated torque wrench. and wondering why they kept stripping... I now use afore mentioned torque wrench to hammer nails into reinforced concrete. Thank God for helicoil

Non car related. Mrs thestag had been harranguing me to replace to faulty outside light. I switched it off and flipped the RCD on the fuse box to isolate the circuit. Removed the old light fitting and while wiring up the new one got a horrible buzzzzzzz off the live wire , WTF went for it again and just as bad !!! went back inside and RCD was back on, mrs thestag had very helpfully flicked it back on so she could see while doing the hoovering ever since I remove the RCD and put it in my pocket while doing such jobs. I reckon mrs was a numpty on that one

I have loads more car related ones, some are more painful than others

[KOY 23]

or perhaps she is not a Numpty, perhaps she remembered the terms of your Life insurance policy?
- Alan

That's shocking.

[DJT]

That's shocking.

You are really on form with your quick wit and repartee the last couple of days, John. What's in the air in E. Sussex? Or have you been mixing it with the bath-chair brigade at Eastbourne and sniffing their smelling salts?

Dave

[Guest]

Yeah, that's pretty numpty
Decided years ago, that drilling holes in the wall was dangerous, might hit a live cable, so I turned the power off, then spent five minutes wondering why the bloody drill wouldn't work - that's numpty as well M.

Jason

[KOY 23]

You are really on form with your quick wit and repartee the last couple of days, John. What's in the air in E. Sussex? Or have you been mixing it with the bath-chair brigade at Eastbourne and sniffing their smelling salts?

Dave

Hi Dave.

Spot on, I went through Eastbourne on route to Rolling Road.

Just received my bank statement, it's made me hysterical......Sorry.

Sorry to miss you next weekend. Will think of you on the deck sipping your G & T's

John.

[Jeff]

Yeah, that's pretty numpty
Decided years ago, that drilling holes in the wall was dangerous, might hit a live cable, so I turned the power off, then spent five minutes wondering why the bloody drill wouldn't work - that's numpty as well M.

Fantastic, love it. (thinking about it, I think I did it once)

[Jeff]

Just seen a woman trying to put the large tesco trolley back into the row of the smaller sized ones, really banging and trying to force it in, red face or what when she saw me laughing.

[KOY 23]

Funniest thing I saw in a car park was a guy putting a garden hoe in the back seat of his Cavalier. He was trying to shut the rear door and then shut it hard.....the handle came through the opposite back window. PMSL at that, still do, probably an age thing.

John.

[Jeff]

After a tenant vacated a flat I rent out with no forwarding address (happens a lot), letters started coming through, I returned them stating 'MOVED, RETURN TO SENDER, NO NEW ADDRESS, NOT KNOWN AT THIS ADDRESS'.

Today I opened one of such letters (Yes I know it's illegal) and it read, your letters have been returned as undelivered, can you please contact us to confirm you have moved.