Big Tummy

[RogerP]

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mum on top of his dad bouncing up and down.

The mum sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.

She dresses quickly and goes to find him…….
The son sees his mum and asks, 'What were you and Dad doing?'
The mother replies, 'Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it..'
'You are wasting your time,' said the boy.
'Why is that?' the mum asked puzzled.
'Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it back up again!!

[Staggard]

a little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mum on top of his dad bouncing up and down.

the mum sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.

she dresses quickly and goes to find him…….
the son sees his mum and asks, 'what were you and dad doing?'
the mother replies, 'well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes i have to get on top of it and help flatten it..'
'you are wasting your time,' said the boy.
'why is that?' the mum asked puzzled.
'well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it back up again!!

:d:d:d

[Jeff]

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An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man farts and says, " 1-0".

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "what a goal, 1-1."

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. 2-1".

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "back of the onion bag 2-2."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "penalty , up steps Lampard and it's 3-2."
Now the pressure is really on for the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally ****s the bed.

The wife says, 'What the fecking hell was that?'

The old man says, 'Half time whistle, change halfs."

Anthony

[milothedog]

An Old fella in the nursing home has a little thing going with one of the old girls were as she comes in to his room each morning, let's just leave it at she is very good with her hands, after a couple of weeks she turns up as per usual only to find another new female resident of the home taking on her daily duties as it were, she walks away but later that day has to ask the old fella why, so says to him "So what has she got that I haven't" the reply comes back in an instant "Parkinson's"

Ian