Amusing but true oild change technique

[Sheepdip]

A while ago a young colleague bought an older Escort and asked me for my opinion. I suggested he changed oil/filter as unknown when last done.

This computer whizz kid duly bought oil and filter, and got his dad to help him. Following week he remarked how little oil had come out. When I asked for details he mentioned he'd removed the filter, got his dad to hold a container nearby while he ran engine till oil had finished coming out.....then new filter and some oil.....

[GDPR]

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and some shell bearings.....:shock:

[Sheepdip]

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I forgot to mention - I asked him why he hadn't removed the sump plug - he looked at mescornfully "yeah - like theres a plug in the bottom of the sea".

A couple of weeks later he decided to change the plugs as hard to start. Walking in to work the next day he mentioned it now wouldn't start and did it matter where each of those funny bits of wire he'd taken off the plugs went? He'd pulled the lot off the disi and plugs and chucked in a heap. Over the next week he tried all combinations then got the AA in. They corrected the order and also found he had the coil going to one of the outside terminals on the cap.....

[Marco Polo]

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I have a similar story. During my apprenticeship, I earned extra cash by working at a full service petrol station for the evening shift.

One evening a very rough sounding HB Viva limped onto the forecourt. The Pakistani owner asked if I knew anything about cars and if I could help him. I asked the usual questions and then asked him about the oil level.

He replied that he had recently topped up the oil level as it was far too low, this was said as he removed the oil filler capfrom the rocker cover, removed the dip stick from the engine, wiped it on the sleeve of his anorak and placed the dipstick in the oil filler hole.

Theoil levelwas on exactly the correct mark on the dipstick!

There was oil p*ssing out from everywhere on that poor engine!he took some convincingon the correct method of checking the oil level but after 1/2 an hour of draining oil was able toleave.

regards,

Raoul

[TimShoubridge]

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Sheepdip wrote:

I forgot to mention - I asked him why he hadn't removed the sump plug - he looked at mescornfully "yeah - like theres a plug in the bottom of the sea".

A couple of weeks later he decided to change the plugs as hard to start. Walking in to work the next day he mentioned it now wouldn't start and did it matter where each of those funny bits of wire he'd taken off the plugs went? He'd pulled the lot off the disi and plugs and chucked in a heap. Over the next week he tried all combinations then got the AA in. They corrected the order and also found he had the coil going to one of the outside terminals on the cap.....

There are some people who you would just not trust to sit upright on a toilet.

Someone loves him.

[alan_thomas]

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This thread reminds me of an incident a couple of years ago when a salesman at our office asked me to look at his Triumph Herald because it wouldn't start. He said he had 'tried everything', petrol, plugs, points everything. He had only had it a month and it had been running well when he bought it.
When I went round to look I found he had set the points completely wrong and after resetting them and jumping the battery from my car it started - of sorts

It blotted out the whole of his garage area and garden with dense black smoke. How much oil does it use I asked hastily turning it off.
"I put a pint of oil in it each week" he said. "How many miles do you do each week" I asked. "no more than 50" he replied.

I told him he had bought a pup and the engine was knackered I then had a thought, "You do check the oil level with the dipstick don't you?"

"Dipstick?" he said with a blank look.

Sure enough I checked it and the oil was right up to the top of the sump, he had put a pint of oil in each week 'as a treat' for the car!

He still answers to the nickname of Dipstick to this day! - Alan

[Sheepdip]

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One hears rumours like the lady hanging her handbag on the choke lever but its great when you see it for real!