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Funny for Today

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    Funny for Today

    Things I hate about everybody...
    1.
    People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...
    I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
    2.
    People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they
    refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
    3.
    When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
    F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
    4.
    When people say "it's always the last place you look".
    Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this?
    Who and where are they?
    5.
    When people say while watching a film "did you see that?".
    No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f*cking floor.
    6.
    People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".
    Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
    7.
    When something is 'new and improved!'.
    Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then
    there must have been something before it.
    8.
    When people say "life is short".
    What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?
    9.
    When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?".
    If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?
    10.
    People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'.
    So what did they used to be? Ears? Wellington boots?
    11.
    When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?'
    No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
    12.
    People who announce they are going to the toilet.
    Thanks, that's an image I really didn't need.
    13.
    McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before
    the item you are ordering...
    It has to be a McChicken Burger, NOT just a Chicken Burger you get blank looks. Well I'll have
    a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you Mcf*cking McTosser.
    14.
    When you’re involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you alright?'
    Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.






    #2
    imported post

    Since it's inception we have had quite a lot of good jokes and funny pictures posted. Wouldn't it be nice if they could all be grouped together in one place so that we have had a bad day & need cheering up we could go directly to the Joke (remedial) thread. A job for a Moderator or the Administrator perhaps? or even someone else.

    Comment


      #3
      imported post

      Billy Connollyis 'the best'..!!:dude:

      Thanks Phil

      Jer
      sigpic Living the dream..!

      Comment


        #4
        imported post

        Terry wrote:
        Since it's inception we have had quite a lot of good jokes and funny pictures posted. Wouldn't it be nice if they could all be grouped together in one place so that we have had a bad day & need cheering up we could go directly to the Joke (remedial) thread. A job for a Moderator or the Administrator perhaps? or even someone else.
        Good idea Terry, what do you think Graham?


        Yellow Rules OK

        Comment


          #5
          imported post

          Great idea.

          Graham, only 4,606 topics and 49,795 posts to sort through :P
          http://www.stagwiki.com | http://parts.stagwiki.com (Under Development)

          Comment

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