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    Sunday Funny

    I know there are often Friday funnies, but with both Neil's (Or is it ian's ) bad luck and now poor Andy's troubles, I though maybe we should have a Monday funny.

    It's an old one, cos they're often the best and in case people can't read the genuine attachment, I've typed it out below.

    Anyway, bad luck Neil and Andy - if it doesn't sound a bit overdramatic, my thoughts are with you, especially as there but for the grace of God .....:shock:



    Well, bact to the funny:

    One of themany benefits in the Uk of the freedom of information act is that little gems from a bygone age sometimes emerge to remind of us of opposite things. In this case, the lost past of empire,itspompousness and sense of superiority. On the other hand, it alsoreminds us of the eternal British sense of humour. Attached is a genuine letter from the British Ambassadorin Soviet Russia in 1943 to his dear friend Reggie, The Lord Pembroke at the Foreign Office.

    I can just see bowler hats, pin-sriped suits and a wee glint in the old boys' eyes.......Enjoy !




    H.M.EMBASSY

    MOSCOW



    Lord Pembroke

    The Foreign Office

    LONDON6th April 1943

    My Dear Reggie

    In these dark days man tends to look for little shafts of light that spill from Heaven. My days are probably darker than yours, and I need, my God I do, all the light I can get. But I am a decent fellow, and I do not want to be mean and selfish about what little brightness is shed upon me from time to time. So I propose to share with you a tiny flash that has illuminated my sombre life and tell you that God has given me a new Turkish colleague whose card tells me that he is called Mustapha Kunt.

    We all feel like that, Reggie, now and then, especially when Spring is upon us, but few of us would care to put it on our cards. It takes a Turk to do that.



    Sir Archibald Clerk Kerr

    H.M. Ambassador


    Attached Files

    #2
    imported post





    [align=center]

    Extracts from letters written
    to local councils:


    [/align]

    [align=left][font=Calibri]1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

    2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

    3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

    4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

    5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

    6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

    7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

    8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

    9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

    10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

    11. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

    12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

    13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color and not fit to drink.

    14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.

    15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.

    16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

    17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

    18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

    19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

    20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

    21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

    22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

    23. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
    [font=Calibri] [/align]

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